Happy Little Illusion

You asked me why I keep this chain around my neck.

It’s to remind me that no matter how far I run, how hard I try to hide or escape, my past, me emotions will ALWAYS chain me down.

It’s a reminder that I need to stop and face my fears. To stop and understand my feelings, rather than box them away.

A reminder that the more I run, the more the people that I care about the most get hurt.

A reminder that until I can do all of this, I will never be free.

My current theory on my own personal attraction to people:

My attraction to others is like an invisible force, which acts slightly like a virus, however, symptoms generally only affect myself. Some people are not very resistant to this force, and therefore, I find myself attracted to them very easily. Conversely, some people are very resistant, and I will generally find little or no attraction to them over forever/a long period of time. Meanwhile, there are people that sit in the middle, neither resistant nor susceptible to it. These people, if time is spent with them constantly, are who I develop stronger attractions to over time.

Guh, I don’t know. What even.

So yeah, there’s this guy I really like. I’m probably coming on way too strong, but I can never get him out of my mind. Heck, chances are he probably doesn’t even like me back in the same way. But until I’m 100% sure of that, there’s a chance right?

So from today, the 17th of April, 2012, to the 17th of May, 2012, I shall write a haiku a day about him. And see if he realises if they’re all about him.